Meeting new people is never easy. But humans, by nature, are social beings that depend on other people to survive. We are taught, nurtured, and supported by others. Studies have even shown that individuals who lead solitary, non-social lives end up having shorter life spans than those who surround themselves with friends, colleagues, family and other acquaintances.
Building a large network may seem like a daunting and time-consuming task, but with the right attitude and mindset it can be very rewarding and a lot of fun! These 5 tips are some helpful ideas to get you started on your road to networking success.
1. Expand your definition of "networking event"
The first step to becoming a great networker is understanding that every single time you find yourself surrounded by people you don't know, you are at a networking event. From Chamber of Commerce meetings to a neighbor's child's birthday party, every time you meet someone new you are building your network.
It is always important to be on your best behavior (look your best, feel your best, send out positive signals to others) because you never know who you are going to meet.
Plenty of people mix work with pleasure, and the best networkers always do. Remember, people like doing business with people they like. What better way to connect with a potential client than socially? That's when you really get to call your clients friends!
2. Ooze positivity and friendliness
You walk into a party where you know no one. You take a look around the crowded room. Not knowing where else to begin, you go to the buffet - more to look like you're doing something than because you're actually hungry. There's a man getting food right next to you, but he doesn't even look your way. He must know you're there. Across the buffet is a woman who looks up at you, makes eye contact, smiles and beams, "Doesn't the food look fantastic?"
Who would you like to speak with? Of course, the woman! She's friendly, positive and has put you at ease by starting the conversation off with a simple statement about something you have in common - the food. You continue chatting with her while you nibble on appetizers and the man beside you quietly disappears into the wallpaper. He missed a very simple opportunity to connect with others.
The moral of the story: ooze positivity and friendliness from every pore. Everyone is just as nervous and insecure as you are. Make others feel at ease with a smile and positive comment and you'll be surprised how easy small talk can be!
3. Be yourself
It's amazing how much we can read into other people. Have you ever had a "bad feeling" about someone you just met? I sure have. And when I sit down and try to figure out what it is that bothers me about this person I don't even know, I usually end up with the same conclusion: the person is hiding something. I feel like the person isn't entirely sincere or honest, or that he/she is putting on some kind of show to impress people. The irony of it all is that these people will be much less successful in their networking attempts than those who let their true, less than brilliant colors show.
How can you really "connect" with someone if you aren't giving your authentic self to the other person? Even if you manage to slip by during the first encounter and make a good impression, eventually your façade will begin to chip and crumble and the other person will end up losing respect for you - not because they don't like who you really are, but because they feel deceived by your attempts to be someone you're not.
4. Show a sincere interest in others
Fact: people like to talk about themselves and things that interest them. If you want to be a good communicator, let people do just that.
It may be surprising to hear that to be a good networker you actually don't have to talk very much! In fact, the best networkers talk very little. Instead, they listen actively to the other person, nodding in approval, opening their mouths only to add a reassuring, "Oh, I see," or "How wonderful!" They also ask open-ended questions and encourage the speaker to continue.
The person could be talking about their new puppy or latest fishing trip - it really doesn't matter what the topic is. If you let them share their passion openly they will walk away excited about your encounter and feeling good about you because you showed a true interest in them.
Notice I said true interest. This is important. Simply saying, "Uh-huh," over and over again while you skim the room for someone else to talk to is not going to get you far in the networking scene. Give the speaker 100% of your attention and focus on what is being shared. Ask yourself how you can help this person instead of always thinking about what the other person can do for you.
5. Just go!
It doesn't matter how busy, tired or hungry you are (those little appetizers will never hold you over)! I've heard all the excuses. In fact, I've used them all myself! But remember, every time you skip an event where you have the opportunity to network, you are potentially missing a unique opportunity to meet someone who could change your life forever - personally, professionally or both.
That may sound like a far-reaching statement, but it's true. Think of the people who have helped you the most in your life. Think of the people who you have had the opportunity to help and how helping them made you feel. Where did you meet these people? Most are likely to be family members. You were lucky to be born into that support group. But what about the others?
You never know when you will meet someone new and interesting that not only can help you in some way, but will also give you the opportunity to help. That is really what networking is all about. As you give to others, you also gain.
The gains might be financial in the form of a connection to a new job. They could be mental in the form of a really interesting conversation where you learn something new that changes the way you see the world. Or the gains could simply be the emotional high of meeting someone new and "connecting" with them on some basic human level.
You will never know until you go!
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Heather Hansen, founder of Singapore-based Hansen Speech & Language Training, is an executive speech and language coach, writer and trainer. If you want to boost your linguistic abilities and become a powerful speaker, visit her website http://www.hansenslt.com now for free information on how to speak clearly, correctly and confidently! Join her mailing list to receive your free special report, Speak Clearly! and as a special bonus you'll also receive her monthly newsletter, Speak like a Star!
